The whole topic of cyber-bullying is pretty big these days. Typically it is associated with teens and sites like myspace, facebook and what not. But in the wide world of the web, it can be pretty easy for adults to treat others rather poorly as well.
This has been a rather huge topic of discussion on Dragon’s Mark, the creative writing and role-play site I own. We have an area for players to talk about a variety of topics, and one of most active in quite awhile is titled No Swimming - Keep Out - and is primarily about how folks treat others, be it on blogs, in chat rooms, or in gossiping with others. And the discussion has spilled over on to at least a few other players blogs that I’m aware of… such as Obviously Pink and If you don’t like what you see here…*
Personally, in many ways I have had a difficult time fully wrapping my head around the issue. I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe it’s because over the years, I’ve had my fair share of tomatoes thrown at me, and… I just don’t care anymore. Sure, once in awhile something will get to me. I’ll vent to a friend (or maybe whine if you ask them) about it and usually that’s the end of it. I have way too many other things to deal with that I want to deal with that dwelling on such stuff just fails to be an option in so many ways.
And on top of that, is it really my place to tell “you” what to do when it comes to what you post on your blog or talk about with your friends? Not really… you have your rights. But beyond all this, it may do well for some folks to keep in mind that along with these “rights”, you also have some responsibilities.
Problem is, how are these responsibilities defined? Who sets the rules? Well, as owner of Dragon’s Mark I can, do, and will tell you how I expect you to behave. I have every right to monitor how you use the service I provide, and deal with things I believe to be a problem.
What about on your blog or other sites? Well, aside from the service provider’s terms of service, the biggest guide should be your own conscience. Each and every one of us has that “line in the sand” that we (usually) won’t cross. And for each of us that line is in a different place… and all too often it becomes way too easy to sort of nudge that line over just a little bit so we don’t have to actually cross it.
So where does that leave us all? If this line is different for everyone, and those lines are so easy to shift about here and there, doesn’t that leave all this right back where it started with folks posting things about others and those folks not liking it?
Well, if I actually had the answer to this, I could probably become an ambassador and negotiator on par with Jean Luc Picard. But I’m not. So maybe the first step is just for everyone to take a step back, and recognize there is a line, and to really look at where their line is.
Cause if you don’t know where your line is, you’ll never know if it’s in front of you, or behind you.
3 comments ↓
I’ve been pretty careful to check just where I am in relation to that line when I’m blogging. So far, I don’t think I’ve crossed it. Obviously at least two people disagree; their line is probably somewhere very different — and they may even have one line for other people and different line for themselves.
This might make more sense if I’d had any coffee yet today.
Hypocrisy runs rampant in the real world and even more so online. Lines are often crossed much more quickly online than in one another’s faces. Fact is, each of us is responsible for what we do, what we say and yes, what we write. We can deny the impact what we write has on others, but that’s delusional.
Aside from the nastiness, my primary issues are the lies. Half-truths, assumptions, things that simply are not true. I disagree with posting absolutes when they are not factual. So? For those bloggers out there? Get your facts straight, don’t just hop on the “burn ‘em” bandwagon. And on the internet always remind yourself that what you are reading may not be true.
I used to flail all over the internet.
It’s the internet! You don’t have to care! It doesn’t matter! No one cares and you can say anything!
And then I realized how wrong I was and started thinking–I mean, REALLY thinking about how it would feel if it was me. And in some cases, it has been me.
I’m not saying that I will sit back and tolerate the absolute idiocy and disrespect some people online appear to be unable to grow out of–but I will now, always, give chances first. I will *try* to be polite. I will *try* and be considerate, and most importantly, I will try and treat someone how I wish to be treated.
I am human. I make mistakes. I may lose my temper–but rest assured it will take longer for that to happen and will be far after the polite attempts.
I think the rules of etiquette online are *much* like the rules of etiquette in free form. There are no set in stone rules and most people will end up doing what *they think* is alright and okay with them. It is then, left up to us to communicate with those people who have different lines and do our best to connect them.
p.s. It used to be Obnoxiously Pink, but I, unable to keep a layout for too long have switched the layout and title to something else already :p Sorry!
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