The Great MN Get Together

It’s State Fair time here in Minnesota, a time of horses, chickens, sheep, the midway, the grandstand and just about anything-else-you-can-think-of-on-a-stick.Despite the wide variety of things, like the new Bayou Bob’s Alligator Nuggets, and the old standby cheese curds (if you really want to know why I skip those.. just ask me.) I did limit what I ate to my old time favorites. There’s the mini-donuts, pronto pup (a corn dog to the uninitiated), and the cheese on a stick. For a change of pace, I skipped the traditional mozzarella and went for the pepper cheese instead.

Then the rides… I actually kind of skipped the midway area this year. Maybe I’m getting old, but that area just didn’t hold any appeal. The only ride I did stop and watch for a bit was the “Ejection Seat”, a sort of bungee jumping in reverse.

For just $30 each, a pair of folks gets strapped into this contraption that’s anchored to the ground. Their seats are attached to a pair of bungees that get stretched to the top of their respective towers, being pulled nice and tight. The operator then throws the switch, releasing the riders who are sent high into the air at near terminal velocity. Once you hit the upper limit of the bungees, you’re spun around and flung back towards the ground, and then get to bounce and spin awhile before being gently lowered back to terra-firma.

A wireless microphone on the seat lets you hear the screams and last minute prayers of those on the ride. A quick side note here, while at the St Paul Saints baseball game last week we could see the Ejection Seat ride off in the distance, and the riders as they were flung up in the air. Early in the game when it was slow (read boring) we passed time counting how many times we saw the riders bounce over the tree tops.

Ok.. Again.. the rides isn’t why I went. So why did I go? The grandstand hawkers. Underneath the bleachers of the grandstand is two levels of various booths selling everything from pianos to telescoping flag poles. It’s like stepping into a weird mix of a flea market and a infomercial. Actually… it’s more like the products that weren’t quite good enuff, or their pitch wasn’t long enough to warrant one of those late night infomercials.

Here’s a quick sampling of the “better” products being offered. First, every one of these things has to have the stain remover. This years was “Whoosh” (formerly Swiffy). I have it on good authority that this product may have come from the good folks in Germany, but I don’t know what either one of those names would mean in German. Now that I think about it, the German thing makes sense, as Whoosh was being hawked by a couple of dark haired, rather stout looking women.

One of the more entertaining demos was for the “Magic Pens”. It’s these markers that you can draw with like ordinary markers, but when you use the special “Magic Pen”, one of two things happened. With one set, it would erase the color of the ink you had started with, giving you the color of the paper you are using. With the other set, it changes the color of the ink to a complimentary color (i.e. the red is turned into yellow). Using these two sets in different combinations let you come up with art work suitable for use as greeting cards or being frames, all by “doing little more than scribbling”.

A ways down the aisle was the folks hawking “Sweepa”, the wonder broom. It’s basically a rubber bristled brush and squeegee combo that’s supposed to work wonders on everything from wood floors, tiles and even getting pet hair out off your clothes. As an added bonus, it’s dishwasher safe.

Now, we all know these are things we can live without… but there’s just something about these hawkers that make you stop and not only take notice, but want to listen… you’re drawn in. (of course the fact the one demoing the pens was darn cute didn’t hurt.) Maybe it’s just the tone of their voices… sort of like the mythological sirens beckoning to Ulysses. Or maybe it’s just that we want so much to believe that we’re so special, that we are the only folks to get the super-special deals they’re telling us about? I mean.. they have to have a cue card back there somewhere that reads “Now, my boss said that since we’re in -insert-location-here- that we can offer you this at a super special low price.”

Well, whatever it is, I’ll have to worry about it later… I have to get that kool-ade stain out of my rug, sweep my kitchen floor and start working on my Christmas cards.

Originally written 1997-AUG-28